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To Buzz Or Not To Buzz, That Is The Question

9/30/2013

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So, dudes… when you start seeing your Pangaea, should you or shouldn’t you?


I’ve been buzzing my hair for the past 12+ years.  I first buzzed my hair, when it was the “in” thing to do... jocks buzzed their hair (some guys in my swim team even shaved their heads for meets).  It was a cool thing to do.  Michael Jordan made it cool to shave or buzz your hair.  And for all the white dudes - Keanu Reeves in Speed, that was a cool buzzed hairdo. 

So naturally, I really really really wanted to do it.  But I had my reservations.  What if my head was shaped funny?  What if I look like a dork?  What if…..?  It was a fearful, yet ballsy decision.  So I went out to the local Thrifty drug store and purchased a Remington buzzer (I do not recall the specific model, I wish I had).  I will never forget my first buzz.  I’m talking about the very first time the ½ inch plastic clip touched my virgin head and made a path that parted my precious hair into two regions… OMG!  What have I done???!!!???  But that back paddling was quickly over.  I turned off the buzzer and stared at the “parted” hair, thinking… this is cool.  I turned the buzzer back on and went onto the rest of my dome.  

Thankfully, my head was NOT shaped funny (although my wife says otherwise).   I mean fellas, Jordan looks way cooler once he lost his patches than when he was sporting them.  So that brings me to my next point.  When dudes start losing their hair, should they or shouldn’t they buzz it all off??   For me, I so want to grow my hair out like a grungy surfer dude now.  BUT, I’m afraid that is no longer possible.  That is because I started losing my hair.   If I grew it out, it would sort of look like the parted Pangaea – you know when the continents started parting?!  So my decision to continue sporting the buzzed look is part functional, but mostly to hide my Pangaea. 

So, dudes… when you start seeing your Pangaea, should you or shouldn’t you?  I say, go for it.  Some fellas say, “well these remaining follicles have been loyal to me, I don’t have the heart to do it”.  Let me tell you something, it’ll look like a lonely sunflower on a deserted island.  And if you’re thinking about the custom carpet option for your head, forget about it.  Unless you don’t mind looking like walking Astroturf.  So next time if you are ever at the crossroads of should you or shouldn’t you, whether you’re a 20 year old dude wanting to sport Brad Pitts’ old do OR a 40 year old dude debating over your Pangaea, I say go for it!  After all, who doesn’t want to look like Mike?!

by ManPossible
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