So, you’ve read part one of The Toilettte (Twilight) Zone (Old Spice Wild Collection: Wolfthorn) and are eager to consume part two. However, we have a problem. How do you follow up on an already exceptional article? After a couple of inspirational trips to the “Think Tank” throne, I think I’ve found the perfect answer. After all, they don’t call me J.K. Trolling for nothing!
I’m sure most of you have heard of the famous phrase, “With great power comes great responsibility.” But, what if I tell you Uncle Ben’s final words to Peter Parker were actually: “With great power comes an even greater need for hygiene…” It’s 5:57 AM and the sky is barely lit. In this quiet neighborhood on a cool and breezy Monday morning, I hear the light chirping of birds. Inside I see the digits on the table clock rotate from 5:59 AM to 6:00 AM. This prompts the catch melody of “Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider….” POW! Before the end of the sentence, the alarm was silenced by what seems to look like a massive cobweb. Looking up at the ceiling, I see a young Peter Parker in his PJs saying to himself, “What a way to start the day!” 6:45 AM. I see Peter in his room facing a full length mirror in nothing but his boxer briefs, smiling at his own reflection. Before reaching for his iconic red & blue spandex, I see him going for a grayish silver container on the table with the words, Old Spice Wolfthorn Scent Men's Invisible Solid Anti-Perspirant & Deodorant. Suddenly, the wall of the fourth dimension shatters and I see myself standing where Peter was standing. Without a second thought, I pull off the cap and proceed to bring this magical object to my nose. As the glistening stick gets close to my nose, the scent of zest, wild flowers, and various other aromas sends tingly sensations from my nostrils to my brain; ultimately signaling my sensory palate for what’s about to come next. If you haven’t experienced the infamous “spider sense,” this would be the most comparable sensation! With the scent unlocking all other sensors of my body and preparing the skin, I proceed to apply this bad boy. The initial sensation one gets when the bar of deodorant comes into contact with the skin is smooth and soft. It feels as if a stick of aromatic butter is gliding gently against your skin. Unlike some of its competitors in the marketplace, Wolfthorn does not leave a trail of flaky chunks or other residues. All it takes is one brush against your skin and this bad boy goes right to work. One of the most iconic attractions of this product is the mesmerizing scent; as if we haven’t mentioned it enough. There is just something about the fragrance of the deodorant that leaves everyone within the surrounding radius wanting more. Every single intake seems to trigger your biological receptors to pick up a new ingredient and in turn, allow you to relate it to a particular nostalgia. Did I mention that this particular deodorant also has anti-perspirant capabilities? This thin layer of scented goodness works as a protective shield that reduces the production of sweat from your body. What we have here, sir, is the perfect cure to crime fighting, to life in the fast lane, and to all-high impact lifestyles. Nothing feels worse than sweating like a pig while swinging through New York and fighting crimes. BOOM!!! In a flash I get sucked right back into my seat and the fourth wall closes. Suddenly I hear a faint beeping noise, followed by a radio news announcer’s voice saying: “This just in, Green Goblin just broke out from Ravencroft Institution along with The Rhino, Dr. Octopus, Shocker, and Electro. The police urge all personnel to stay indoors and secure all entrances. New York City is in need of a hero!” Before I can make out the rest of the announcement, I hear the opening of my window and a shadow leaping out. There goes your friendly neighborhood Spiderman, en route to kick some bad guys’ booties! Whether you are a lone warrior or part of the pack, we definitely recommend Old Spice Wild Collection: Wolfthorn to all those who want to keep doing the man-ly things, while smelling like a botanical garden full of fresh fragrance! Go out and get wild! P.S. -- Mr. Stan Lee, if you happened to read this article and like what you see, be sure to hit your boy “J.K. Trolling” up. I’d be happy to take on a freelance gig for Marvel, although, with a nod to my editor, ManPossible of course always comes first! by ManPossible
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