Client – “Hello? Can you hear me?”
Client – “I am in need of your help! I can’t seem to find my sock. Not socks! Just one sock! Please! It’s my favorite pair; they don’t make those patterns anymore. It’s practically a LIMITED EDITION!!!!”
MP – “Hang on sir. I need you to calm down and start from the beginning. Take a deep breath and let’s start from the top.”
Client – “… Okay. So there I was, doing my weekly laundry as usual. After all the clothes from the dryer were ready to be put away, I suddenly realized I had one single sock left by itself! The horror!!! I searched high and low, left and right, but couldn’t find the other half. I swear, I had both socks when I dropped them into the washer! Please! You gotta help me find it! How am I ever going to wear my shoes again without my favorite sock?”
MP – “Ok sir. I have noted everything you mentioned and will get right to work. You will be hearing from me when I find your sock. Go get some rest and leave it up to the professional.”
(Monday, around 10:20AM)
Standing outside of my client’s house… I reach out to shake his right hand. His left hand clinches onto a single red and white polka dot sock. In a matter of two days, I was able to close the case; I managed to retrieve my client’s beloved sock!
So what happened? Where was the sock?
To tell you the truth, I wasn’t sure myself. One minute I was digging through the trashcan… while the next minute, I was getting a phone call from a complete stranger saying they’ve found a polka dot sock outside their house.
This whole incident seems to be a case for the X-Files. Nevertheless, being a detective, it’s my responsibility to deduce the mystery and give it proper closure.
Based on all my years of detective work, I believe this is how it all went down….
Assuming my client was sober and had not been consuming any alcoholic beverages prior to his weekly chores, both socks were indeed present on laundry day. Noticing that the fresh detergent fragrance was also found on the missing sock, I would even argue that the missing sock had been in both the washer and the dryer prior to its disappearance.
In fact, its disappearance took place only seconds after my client opened the dryer door. So, the thief made his move sometime between my client pulling out his clothes from the dryer and folding them and then reaching back in to the dryer for more clothing items to fold. It was during that precise moment that a group of intergalactic aliens used their inter-dimensional transmitter to beam the defenseless sock to their spaceship for interrogation! The torture and agony lasted for two days and nights. Only when the sock was completely broken and spilled all the beans, did the aliens decide to release it back to planet earth.
This might sound farfetched, but trust me, it’s true! Although the rescued sock had its memory erased and speech terminated, my encounter with the eyewitnesses confirmed my suspicions. One eyewitness recalled seeing flickering of lights coming from my client’s house around the same time the sock had gone missing. Another neighbor recalls hearing faint sound of radio transmission followed by loud barking of neighborhood K-9s.
Regardless of how you dissect the situation, sock aliens are real! They’ve been going around people’s houses during laundry day and kidnapping not pairs of socks, but just a single sock! This I suspect is their initial tactic in a carefully calculated strategy to take over the world!... one sock at a time!
Luckily for you all, detective Manny Possibilities exposed this mystery for what it really occurred. Next time you do your laundry and realize one of your socks is missing, you’ll know exactly who the culprit is and who to call for the job.
Photo used under CC from olarte.ollie