I’d like to start off by announcing that I took my first public number 2 at work last week!
This is the article you’ve all been waiting for. The one that we hope will revolutionize the future of butt wiping for men. Since this is a sensitive topic (literally and figuratively), we at ManPossible thought it would be interesting to put a twist to this review. Instead of just writing about the product, we wanted to first talk about what life was like before we ran into butt wipes.
I’m going to take a wild guess and say that most people (myself included) have at least one time in their life found their fingers touching the bare skin of their anus. Yes, you read that correctly. Both the words “fingers” and “anus” were used together in one sentence. The cause of such a horrific and traumatic incident was most likely due to the toilet paper’s lack of thickness. Fun fact of the day: toilet paper’s thickness is usually measured by “ply”. Ply represents the layer of paper. 1 ply means a single layer of paper and in turn means you’ll more than likely end up wiping your butt with your hands. Most common toilet paper brands are between 1-2-3 plys per sheet. Another thing to note is that the more ply the roll has the more “gold” you’ll need to drop. If money is of concern, please choose your toilet paper with great caution.
Second. At times I find the dryness of the weather or simply the poop itself makes the wiping experience somewhat painful. The worst crime one can perform to him or herself is by rubbing a dry piece of toilet paper against an equally dry (and highly sensitive) area of your body. For Pete’s sakes, we live in the 21st century! If our founding fathers have taught us anything, it’s that their sacrifices were not made just so we can use it to mistreat our righteous bottom… If you are seeing blood on your toilet paper and you are a male, something’s gotta change. A survey in the ManPossible office says this isn’t uncommon, but enough said!
Now, let’s talk about doing it right… the ManPossible way. One of the biggest takeaways we found from using the Cottonelle Fresh Care Flushable Wipe (or any wipe for that matter), is that this product is not meant to replace your everyday toilet paper. In the contrary, the wet wipe is meant to be a complimentary product to the toilet paper; think Batman and Robin (I had to convince my Editor to leave this analogy in here!). When using the wet wipe by itself, you’ll notice immediately that it is very moist and at times quite cold when pressed against the skin. Another factor that you’ll need to take into account is the special occurrences; if it so happens to be one of those “wet” days, the usage of butt wipes can be quite messy; imagine smearing a wet towel across a wet surface… you get the idea. Fear not fellow gents, it is for these reasons ManPossible exists. We go through rigorous “first hand” tests to provide you with best ManPossible practices. Back to the wet wipes, we advise an easily memorable “3 word process” to help you get the most out of your butt cleaning experience. If you follow the 3 words when using wet wipes during the cleaning process, everything will be perfecto!
Dry... Wet... Dry...
Dry - This is the initial step where one uses the traditional toilet paper to run across the rings of uranus. By first applying the dry toilet paper you are picking up the larger debris while soaking up the excessive moist around the cleaning area.
Wet - During this stage we apply the wet wipe (Cottonelle Flushable Wipe) across the same area. When running the wet wipe across, we are utilizing the moist towel to rid of any remaining waste while introducing a bit of hydrogen dioxide (including other moisturizers) to the dry area.
Dry - This is the final process where one finishes off the entire experience with one last wipe of the toilet paper. This is the drying process where the toilet paper picks up the remaining moisture from the wet wipes while leaving the skin refreshed and clean.
Important Note - One of the best parts about Cottonelle’s Flushable Wipes is that they are flushable! After you are done with wiping, simply drop it in the toilet and give the handle a flush. Butt cleansing and environmental awareness is the newest trend. Captain Planet will be damn proud!
P.S. Please flush with caution and do not attempt to flush more than 2 to 3 Cottonelle Wipes at a time or you may end up with a different kind of DRY WET DRY procedure.