My first reaction to MP’s Dry Wet Dry post (at http://www.manpossible.com/toilette/dry-wet-dry) was to wonder if the apocalypse was truly upon us; or, if maybe we men were running out of things to worry about. Not that I have a philosophical problem with a man prancing around proud of his fresh-scented ass, mind you. I just suspected wet wipes for men’s butts represented the proverbial "solution in search of a problem."
To wit, brethren, I came to that post with clean hands, literally and figuratively, never having besmirched my digits with unwanted tidbits from below. Now, I confess to being a bit of a neat freak -- dare I say anal-retentive -- about hygiene south of the border. In fact, I hadn’t realized it until reading the MP post, but I'd had a longstanding dream of keeping my hands free of my fecal matter. Not a grand dream, perhaps, but my dream, ranking somewhere between a lifelong desire to drive a monster truck and a fantasy of winning a church bingo game.
Toward that cleanly end, if I needed to wrap my wiping hand up like the Mummy, fine. No Hershey’s Kisses since I first started wiping my own butt. So, I wondered how the good folks at Cottonelle – or Dollar Shave Club – could possibly improve upon a decades-long streak of being streak-free.
Oh, how wrong I was. After reading MP’s Dry Wet Dry piece, I not only tried the Cottonelles wipes, but liked the experience pretty well, especially for those evacuations not followed by a shower. And I wound up as a MP gurumer to boot. Now it’s come full circle, as I get the chance to review another butt wipe.
One Wipe Charlies are effective. They’re modestly moistened, which I prefer to the wetter Cottonelle wipes. And they smell more natural and less like chemicals, thanks to a formulation that includes Aloe Vera, peppermint aromatics and chamomile. And it really does leave you feeling clean with that soft stinging sensation, in a good way. It’s like a tea party in your ass, and everyone’s invited. Well, Charlie’s definitely invited, anyway.
A word of caution. Despite the product name, one wipe is probably not enough to leave you confident of a “Mission Accomplished” level victory over Uranus. So I recommend using the same dry-wet-dry technique recommended by MP so many moons ago.
So listen to Charlie, and wipe your troubles away!